Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I'm not a copy

"You were meant to grace the world with your dance"

Ever had an experience, a time in your life where you can point to... the moment it all changed?

The moment you decided you no longer to be who you were, and actually embraced a new self...

Last New Year's I was visiting a friend up north. I had the opportunity to attend an amazing worship service, which totall rocked my world.

I don't often sit and wait and hope that someone will come and pray with me... but for some reason I was begging God for the company. I wanted to know that someone understood or even knew what I was going through.

I began pouring out my heart to God, things that I had not yet even admitted to myself.

It wasn't long until a woman came and began prophesying over me....

Now understand, that while I have grown up in church, there is some church stuff that kinda freaks me out and I can be quite skeptical about. And to be honest, I was a little freaked when this woman started telling me all this stuff I had just been praying about...

I had felt abandoned and hurt and caged. I felt as if I wasn't free to by myself or even aspire to be the person God was calling me to be. I was afraid of what people thought, how I would look, what they might say...

I'm honestly not one of those people who doesn't care what people think... to a certain extent...

This womans word's sent instant chills down my spine... it had to be God.

The most memorable thing I can remember her saying is that she could see me dancing in a field of wild flowers. That she saw me a white cotton dress just spinning, without a care of who was watching or what people might think....

Now if you know me at all, you know that I am not really a dancer... but this vision of freedom that she explained to me was so breathtaking and enticing.

I don't want to be the person who holds back because of fear of hurt or failure. I want to laugh out loud, sing in my car, and dance when I feel the urge.

Because life isn't about living in perfect lines and following all the rules.

Life is about messing up, taking chances, and looking like a fool from time to time.

But those times when we go after things with our whole hearts, when we put our everything into something, when we refuse to back down, when we stop caring about everyone else's opinions, we we do things simply because its what we want... those are the times we will look back and feel most fulfilled.. most like ourselves.

So maybe I look foolish or maybe people won't like the things I do... but my desire is to follow God with my whole heart. I don't want to be anyone but who God wants me to be.

People often say you may be the next Bill Graham or the next Mother Theressa... well I am going to be the first Paige Carter...

I just want to challenge you and encourage you, to let go of whatever is holding you back.

Maybe its people in your life who never encourage you to pursue your dreams, but rather destroy your spirit.

Maybe its things that consistently get in the way.

Or maybe its yourself... your own fears and insecurties...
Start today... dream your dreams and pursue your goals. Live the life you've always imagined.
Because tomorrow never gets here, and today is all we have.
So lets all go out and dance in the rain... dance in the wild flowers... its time to be free...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

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What is Paigerific? I’m glad you asked, although I don’t have an exact definition to offer. Paigerific is my thoughts and my heart. Paigerific is my passion and my fear. Paigerific is my success and my failures. Paigerific is my blood, sweat, and tears. Paigerific is more than just simply word. It’s a million different words all rolled into one. Words like hope, grace, determination, imperfection, love, faith, insecurity… The one word I would use to describe myself? I am Paigerific.


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