Monday, October 4, 2010

Jesus why I'm hot...

She's got a love like whoa...
I've been studying a lot about love.
What it means to love God.
What it means to love myself.
What it means to love others...
Its been so interesting learning more about God's love and the way that He desires for me to love everyone.
I have discovered this phenomenon, which to explain I will have to give you a little back story.
I have a good friend that had a "crush" (if you will) on a very well-known preacher. I mean, I completely understood. He is a great speaker, good-looking... he seemed to have it all.
Earlier this year, we got the opportunity to meet this preacher, and he was everything she had hoped and more. However, much to her dismay, we also discovered on this trip that he was engaged.
I thought my friend was going to cry. Not because she was so in love with him, but because it seemed as if a little bit of the hope in her heart was crushed.
We ended up talking a random stranger about this, and she said "I understand, because you are attracted to the Jesus inside of him".
I havne't been able to quite let that statement go since.
Its true.
There are famous pastors or preachers or singers or speakers or leaders that maybe aren't the most physically attractive, but something about them is.
This is what I want more than anything.
I want to find something that goes so much deeper than skin. I want to look at someone and be attracted to the Jesus inside of them first and foremost.
Because the truth is, Jesus looks good on people.
I want someone who I am attracted to their heart and their passion. I want their words and encouragement and love for others and God be their best attributes. I desire these things far over anything physical.
And to be honest, there have been times when I have wanted to give up, or settle for something less.
But I am so thankful to have some great men in my life, that exhibit all this and more. And this is what gives me hope that one day its all gonna be worth the wait.
More than anything, I wish for someone to fall in love with the Jesus in me. I think the greatest compliment in the world would be for someone to be attracted to me for my love for God and others... my passion and desire to serve him... thats what I want.
Some days I feel like I'm failing, like maybe people can't even see the Jesus in me, let alone fall in love with him.
This is my daily desire, to show God through me, and serve him in everything that I do.
One day its all gonna work out, I have no doubts. I may get discouraged, but I know that if I am striving with my whole heart to serve God, then he will give me the desires of my heart.
"I will love you more than the ocean loves the rain. I will be your strength even in the pain. And our love will grow, every morning night and noon. Oh but until then, I will for someday soon..."

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What is Paigerific? I’m glad you asked, although I don’t have an exact definition to offer. Paigerific is my thoughts and my heart. Paigerific is my passion and my fear. Paigerific is my success and my failures. Paigerific is my blood, sweat, and tears. Paigerific is more than just simply word. It’s a million different words all rolled into one. Words like hope, grace, determination, imperfection, love, faith, insecurity… The one word I would use to describe myself? I am Paigerific.


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