Monday, November 29, 2010

One

"At this moment there are 6,884,652,671 people in the world, give or take a few. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes... all you need is one."


I find it fascinating how one person can seemingly change everything.

There have been times in my life when one person made me feel insecure and afraid and worthless.

I never really had issues with self-confidence or worth growing up. I always knew who I was. I always knew that God created me to be something amazing...

Somewhere in high school all that changed. I no longer felt confident and beautiful and worthy... but rather I felt like nothing...

Its almost like I can remember the moment when it all changed. And I can't put the blame all on one person, but rather a series of one persons who gave me the distinct fear that I would never be enough.

The blame doesn't go just to relationships, but to friends and leaders and family... people who didn't see or didn't care...

And this is not to point out people or cast blame on any specific people, but just to exemplify how easy it is to change people by the words we say or by the the things we do or by the things we don't...

Even crazier, is how one person can make your life seem so much better.

How you can go from dreading the days to come, to waking up with a smile on your face every single morning.

How the insecurities and heartache you felt before can suddenly melt away in the presence of someone else.

How the dreams you were ready to let go of, can suddenly seem within your grasp.

How the love that you had hoped for was there all along.

How all the doubt and fear and questions don't really seem important.

I want to be that one for someone else.

I want to be a person that changes people for the better.

I want to encourage people and instill in them the belief that they are worthy and capable and amazing.

I think of amazing people throughout history who changed the world by their willingness to be that one. Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teressa, Esther, Moses, Jesus... the list goes on and on...

I have the honor of knowing many people who have been willing to be that person in my life. People who love me and encourage me and push me to be a better person.

I don't want to live my life selfishly. I want to live my life in the constant pursuit of helping people.

Its amazing what a text, a letter, a hug, a smile, or even asking someone how they are REALLY doing can do to change someones life.

We never know what someone else is going through. Some of us are pretty good at pretending to be strong even when we aren't.

I guess I've been convicted, cause I wonder often times if I do make a difference. If anyone is actually influenced by what I say or do, if I inspire anyone to be better or encourage them in any way...

And I think about times I may have been the person to tear someone else down or give them a reason to believe that they weren't good enough...

So if your reading this, I want you to know that you are amazing. That God has created you with a specific purpose in mind, and He has given you everything you need to accomplish amazing things. That it doesn't matter what you have been through or who you have been, because all that matter is who you are now and who you are striving to be. So don't believe that lies that have been holding you back, but rather cling to the promises that God has given you. You are capable. You are worthy. And because of God's grace, you are more than enough.


"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.”

Friday, November 26, 2010

Do you believe in magic?

Dreaming like I mean it...

Driving home tonight I was looking at the stars.

The bright night sky and the cold reminded me of when I was younger, and my sisters and I would look out the car windows on Christmas Eve trying to spot Santa Clause...

I remember having so much faith that he was real (Santa used to come to my house, for real, but that's a different story).

Its amazing how open and trusting we are as children.

We believe in Santa, the tooth fairy, prince charming...

Its not just the belief that these people exist, but the belief that anything could happen. That you wildest dreams actually can come true.

But somewhere around the time that we stop believing in Santa Clause, we stop believing in our dreams.

Someone tells us that we aren't good enough, and we stop believing that we are capable.

A stupid boy comes along and makes you feel worthless and ordinary, and we stop believing that good guys (our prince charming) actually exists.

And our stories become boring and flat, no climax, no plot twists... simply tragedy after tragedy.

It makes me sad to think that many people live their entire lives this way. They think that their lives are meaningless and they settle for less.

Life isn't meant to be lived flat on a page. Life is meant to be experienced.

We have to take chances and we have to continuously pursue our dreams. When we stop believing in the dreams inside our hearts, I truly believe a part of us begins to die...

We only get one story you and I. One chance to make our mark on this world we live in.

So maybe Santa Clause isn't real... maybe we are supposed to grow up and realize that not everything in the world is as simple and beautiful as we believed it to be...

But I believe in fairy tales. I believe prince charming (the good guys) actually does exist. I believe that some moments in this life are magical. And I believe that all of my wildest dreams can and will come true.

God has given us all the ability to dream out loud... to live a life that will bring Him glory. It would be such a waste not to live our lives to the fullest...

"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it"

Monday, November 15, 2010

Here in Your presence

"Every fear suddenly wiped away, here in Your presence..."

I find it so amazing that God actually desires to be in our presence.

That He desires an intimate and passionate time with us.

I guess its safe to say that one of God's favorite things is QT...

Last night I was thinking about the song "The more I seek You"

Its one of my favorite worship songs, because the chorus so beautifully describes an intimate time with God...

In general, I am a pretty affectionate person. I love hugs and being close and cuddling...

There is just something extremely beautiful about laying against someone, breathing in sync, and being able to feel their heart beating...

I guess it gives you reassurance that the person is real... that whoever it is that you are lucky enough to be spending time with actually exists.

It makes me thankful... thankful that they are breathing... thankful that their heart is beating... thankful to even be with them...

"I wanna sit at your feet drink from the cup in your hand, lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat..."

Isn't amazing that we can have this same experience with God?

That He desires for us to spend that quality time with Him, to lay against Him. To feel His chest rise and fall and to hear His heartbeat... His desires...

I am so guilty sometimes of getting too busy too overwhelmed and not spending that intimate quality time with God like I should...

I guess sometimes it feels silly or weird to turn on the worship music in my room and just let go...

Or to crank it up in your car and sing at the top of your lungs...

I want to live my life in the presence of God.

I don't want to wait for a worship service to find Him.

Worship isn't an act or a time or even a service.

Worship is a lifestyle.

And that's how I want to live my life. Not waiting for the right moment to give God everything not thinking that I don't have time.

But truly living a life that worships God in everything that I do.

I just want to encourage everyone to take it to the next level.

Don't let time or people or insecurity keep you from living a lifestyle of worship...

My deepest desire is to be that close to God... to feel Him against me... To hear His heartbeat and know His desires for me...

"I'd rather be anywhere but here with You..."

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Daydreamer

"Everything starts as somebody's daydream"


I would most certainly consider myself a daydreamer...

I love the thoughts of possibilities and hope and purpose.

Sometimes I get completely lost in a daydream.

I like to think about the future; my wants, desires, and aspirations...

Its almost like a nice break from the everyday, the mundane, the monotony...

"For I know the thoughts I think towards you, says the Lord..."

I have heard this verse my entire life... and I have always been reassured that God had a plan, an amazing plan...

But reading this version, that God has thoughts about me...

That the God of the universe would daydream about me.

Its like when you have a crush or start a new relationship...

The simple things like a text message or even hearing their names gives you this unbelievably amazing feeling.

Your whole day, no matter what you are doing, you can't help but think about the person... what they are doing, when you are going to see them, where this is headed...

I imagine this is how God feels about us...

I imagine God sitting up in Heaven, planning our futures with an amazing smile on His face...

I imagine Him contemplating the extraordinary things He desires for us to accomplish.

I mean the God of the universe... who has given us a whole book of love letters...

Who sends us flowers every spring...

I guess I am just overwhelmed by God's amazingness this morning...

How can I not have confidence in my future when its all planned out by a God who daydreams about me?

"What are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them?" Psalm 8:4



Monday, November 8, 2010

Butterflies

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies...


You know what I'm talking about.

Its the moment right before something incredible happens.

Part fear, part excitement, and part keeping yourself together when you feel like you are about to explode into a million pieces.

Things you've waited on for a long time.

Things you never knew you wanted.

Things that are new and scary, but exciting all at the same time.

When you feel as if everyone in the whole world can hear your heart beating and you start to feel the butterflies...

I was thinking how appropriate it is that we call this sensation having butterflies in your stomach. Butterflies are actually a physical response to love, excitement, or nervousness... typically associated with something new or change...

I wonder if a butterfly gets butterflies.

I wonder if in that moment right before the caterpillar begins to ca coon himself, he gets scared.

Because he has always been a caterpillar, and he has probably gotten pretty good at it.

He knows where to find his food and where to crawl to stay away from danger...

He has never had wings or ever flown... sometimes it might seem easier to just be a caterpillar...

I feel like a lot of us are in the same place. We feel like we know whats best, and maybe we are afraid to step out, or even just too comfortable with who we are where we have been...

Because to be honest, its easy to stay here. It would be easy for things to stay the way they are, and never have to change.

But change is part of life, and without change we may never know what we are capable of... we may never know if we can fly...

So to completely honest, I think I have had more butterflies over the past week than I have in my entire life...

But I am honestly so excited to see where God is taking all of us on this journey.

Its OK to be scared.

Its normal to have doubts.

But its time to stop making excuses and to start actively pursuing the future that God has waiting for us...

I don't want to be content crawling around on the ground if God created me to fly...

I don't want to settle for anything less than His best...

And sometimes its scary and uncomfortable and pretty crazy...

I have complete confidence that all the things that are happening now are going to turn into something absolutely amazing...

So lets love each other and pray for each other and be thankful for all the blessings.

:We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." ~Maya Angelou



1 Corinthians 2:9 "...No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him."




Thursday, November 4, 2010

Speak now

If you are waiting for a sign, this is it. Do it, it will be amazing...


Taylor Swift has been quite an inspiration lately.

Don't judge...

In the prologue to her Speak Now album, she talks about the moment in a wedding ceremony when the preacher says "Speak now or forever hold your peace".

Its a moment that can be quite uncomfortable at times... and I've been to weddings where everyone was on edge...

Many people dream or desire to do something as bold as bursting into a church, and making their true feelings known, but it rarely happens in real life.

The whole thing is about living without regret and saying the things you need to say before its too late...

Honestly, I don't think I am good with words.

Writing is completely different from speaking... when I write I can hit backspace, or I can erase....

Spoken words are so final... you can't take them back and there is no time to edit.

So I guess this has been a struggle in my own life, simply because I don't know how to say the things I long to say.

Maybe you feel the same way, maybe you feel like there is something you need to say...

Maybe its telling someone your sorry, even if you don't feel like it was your fault.

Maybe its telling someone you were wrong...

Maybe its telling someone that you are finished falling for the same old thing and that you are really letting go this time...

Maybe its telling someone how you really feel...

I think one of the hardest parts, other than finding the words, is the fear of how the other person will respond.

Maybe they won't forgive you. Maybe the won't let go of the past. And maybe they won't feel the same...

But I've come to realize that its not about how the other person reacts, its about the fact that you had enough courage to speak in the first place.

I honestly think when we look back on our lives, the most regret we will have are the times we didn't act or speak when we knew that we should have.

In my own life I know there are people that I need to say things to and I'm not going to hold back anymore...

So start today.

Make the phone call.

Drive to their house.

Write them a letter...

You never know when it might be too late...

So maybe like me, your heart is beating out your chest... and you feel like you might either have a heart attack or throw up before you are able to speak...

Its not about having the perfect words or about saying it without stuttering...

Because I think if its someone you really care about, they won't necessarily care if its worded eloquently. If you are vulnerable enough to share your heart, I think most people will get that.

If you know what you need to say, then say it.

I think its time to Speak Now...


What is Paigerific? I’m glad you asked, although I don’t have an exact definition to offer. Paigerific is my thoughts and my heart. Paigerific is my passion and my fear. Paigerific is my success and my failures. Paigerific is my blood, sweat, and tears. Paigerific is more than just simply word. It’s a million different words all rolled into one. Words like hope, grace, determination, imperfection, love, faith, insecurity… The one word I would use to describe myself? I am Paigerific.

 


Paigerific
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