Saturday, December 4, 2010

Ramblings on nearsightedness

September 3rd, 2008

They say love is blind. Then is it possible that trust is a little nearsighted?
Nearsighted: Unable to see distant objects clearly.
I don't suppose that I am worried about right now. Granted… this isn't easy. I guess my problem lies in what is to come.
 Not that I don't have faith… Because I know that it's going to be everything I hoped for and more. Isn't that faith? The substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. 

But does that mean we should ignore it? Become blissfully unaware of the future that is coming? Faith is an amazingly, beautiful, wonderfully complex thing.  Faith is good… I would even say vital to living your life to its fullest potential.
But is it an excuse? It has been mine. Life is hard. It forces us to fight, decide, love, let go, push through, move on, take chances, and risk everything.
Faith is imperative. So, instead  of fighting, deciding, loving, letting go, pushing through, moving on, taking chances, risking everything… we wait. We "put our faith in God" and now, we feel as if we must wait for the clouds to open, and the answers to be written in the sky.

That isn't faith. There are circumstances, when God will ask you to wait. But this waiting is not a spiritual vacation. It isn't lying by the pool, or twiddling you thumbs; because faith is an action.
 If you are truly faithful, this waiting will be an opportunity. To serve God, to love others, to give of yourself. Because, contrary to popular belief, the world does not revolve around you, or me for that matter… I believe, that many times, God is just waiting to see if we will take that first step, whatever that may be.
Maybe it's letting go of something or someone. Maybe it's finding the strength. Or maybe it's as simple as getting involved. We spend so much time waiting, when God is hoping we will move.
God's timing is not about time, not how we think of time anyways. God's timing has more to do with the conditions of our own lives. Our level of faith, our willingness, our strength, and possibly our weakness… So you see, Faith is essentially not the problem.
  • The problem, I fear, is me. The problem is my inability to make the right decision, or even an adequate one. I fear that I am nearsighted.  What happens when right now, becomes yesterday, and tomorrow becomes today?
    Things seem so complicated… I don't feel as if I can see very clearly. And I don't want to be blind and oblivious to what is going on around me. I guess my problem is more of an issue of patience and wisdom, rather than faith. I want all the answers now, and I know that my decision making ability is lacking in wisdom. I
    f any of you lack wisdom, let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavers is like a wave of the sea, driven by the wind and tossed.
    My life, it's pretty good. I have never questioned if I was loved. The hurt and the pain that I have experienced… has healed overtime. I am blessed.
    Maybe, I'm not meant to see the indistinguishable. Not right now anyways.
    This could possibly be my chance to live out my faith. No, I definitely do not have it all together… not even close.
    But maybe, those trials and imperfections, are what makes  this crazy life so beautiful.

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What is Paigerific? I’m glad you asked, although I don’t have an exact definition to offer. Paigerific is my thoughts and my heart. Paigerific is my passion and my fear. Paigerific is my success and my failures. Paigerific is my blood, sweat, and tears. Paigerific is more than just simply word. It’s a million different words all rolled into one. Words like hope, grace, determination, imperfection, love, faith, insecurity… The one word I would use to describe myself? I am Paigerific.


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