Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Even if you fall

"I'm holding on for you,
I'm fighting for your life.
And when your blinded by this jaded world,
I'll be your eyes.
Even if you fall,
I won't let you break.
When all the noise is telling you
To run away,
Run to me."

Its pretty cool when God reveals things to you in unexpected ways. Today it just so happens to be through a pretty amazing four year old boy. 

I have the amazing blessing and opportunity to babysit one of the coolest kids on the planet.

He is one of the absolute sweetest little boys and I absolutely adore him.

He is extremely smart, very funny, and lots of fun when we dance and play.
You see this amazing little boy was born with cerebral palsy. It amazes me how smart he is and how much stronger he seems to get from week to week.

His parents are incredible people, and I really do hope they know that I admire them for how much they work with and push him and continuously hope and pray to continue to see miracles.

When I first started watching this amazing little boy, I was quite confused. Because you see he has difficulty with getting around and he sometimes falls and hits his head.

I wondered why his parents didn't cover their house in foam padding to prevent him from ever falling and getting hurt. Because I was honestly scared to death that he was going to fall and get really hurt when I started watching him.

As time went on I realized, I am sure his parents would love nothing more than to create a world where he could never fall and get hurt. Where they would never have to see him cry and get another knot on his head again.

But if he never learned that it hurt to fall, then how would he function in the world outside the bubble? How would he ever learn to walk?

It would be easier to just keep him safe and never see him have to go through the pain and frustration of learning everything the hard way.

I was thinking about this tonight, and realized God feels the same way about us.

The times when we fall on our face, the times when we learn things the hard way, the times when we are frustrated and just want to give up... Its because God loves us.

Its because he knows that we may never learn to walk spiritually if He never allows us to fall from time to time.

He can't create this bubble for us to live in, because that isn't reality. Reality is, sometimes life is hard.

Sometimes we are gonna mess up.

But God doesn't allow these things because of a lack of love, but rather because of an unimaginable irrevocable kind of love.

His love is unconditional.

He believes in us... So much that he gives us the opportunity to choose to mess up and to figure it out on our own.

He pushes us and encourages us, but at some point we have to choose.

Because in this kind of love, it isn't forced or romanticized.

It doesn't live in an imaginary world where everything is perfect.

This kind of love, the same kind of love that the little boys parents have for him, is the kind of love that is heart broken every time you fall. But this kind of love knows that sometimes falling is the only way we will ever learn.

I realize now why I have gone through some of the things I have gone through... because without those trials, without those struggles, I wouldn't be walking today.

So maybe you are going through a difficult time. Maybe you can't seem to make the right decision. Maybe you feel like things are falling apart.

Sometimes I feel like God is sitting up in Heaven begging and pleading with us to make the right decisions, wanting so desperately to come down in the middle of our situation and rescue us.

But maybe its his love for us giving us the freedom to choose. Maybe He wants us to know that we are strong and capable... and that He is waiting with arms wide open every single time we fall.

That's the kind of God I serve.

"For God so loved the world..."

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What is Paigerific? I’m glad you asked, although I don’t have an exact definition to offer. Paigerific is my thoughts and my heart. Paigerific is my passion and my fear. Paigerific is my success and my failures. Paigerific is my blood, sweat, and tears. Paigerific is more than just simply word. It’s a million different words all rolled into one. Words like hope, grace, determination, imperfection, love, faith, insecurity… The one word I would use to describe myself? I am Paigerific.


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