Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Just Let Go

"YOU are my everything, and I will adore YOU..."

Something clicked the other day during worship. Service at church was a little different, and definitely amazing. I even got a bit teary eyed, which is nothing new with my being extremely hormonal.

These words, you are my everything kept resounding in my head.

Because you see, its so much easier said than done, or rather sang on a Sunday morning than carried out through the week... Making Him your everything.

There are things in my life that I want to keep... not because I don't trust God, more so because I am embarrassed.

My sins, my failures, my mistakes.

Its hard to let those things go, to stop punishing myself. To realize that I am in fact human, and will continue making mistakes.

Its hard to uncover those hurts and fears that I have managed to bury so deep within my heart... because there is sure to be an emotional breakdown when they come to light.

I am reminded of the story when the prostitute came to wash Jesus' feet.

Everyone was appalled, no one approved, after all she was a sinner... how quick people are to judge.

But the most fascinating thing, is that she didn't just come to ask for forgiveness, she came with her sin, her mistakes, her soon to be past.

The perfume she used to wash Jesus' feet was said to have cost a years worth of wages. And how do you think she earned those wages? The same way all the other prostitutes did.

It was symbolic of her bringing the things she was ashamed of, her failures, her hurts, and laying them literally at the feet of Jesus.

She didn't come to Jesus cleaned up and perfect, she came with her sin showing for the world to see.

The best part is, she was welcomed with open arms. He didn't scold her, or flinch because a woman so unclean and defiled was touching him.

No, he told her that her sins were forgiven and that her faith had saved her.

Its beautiful really. To realize we don't have to hide, that we can come before Jesus with our sin in hand, and literally give him everything... The good and the bad.

So, what is holding you back from giving everything. Is it fear, pride, rejection, hurt? We have all been there.

Its time to stop holding back and truly give everything.

And it isn't easy, its still scary and many times it hurts to be that vulnerable and honest.

But if we can't give everything, if we continue to allow ourselves to be held back by the past, we may never know how amazing a life of freedom can be.


"Open our eyes
To see the things that make Your heart cry
To be the church that You would desire
Your light to be seen
Break down our pride
And all the walls we've built up inside
Our earthly crowns and all our desires
We lay at Your feet...

With Everything, with everything..."



What is Paigerific? I’m glad you asked, although I don’t have an exact definition to offer. Paigerific is my thoughts and my heart. Paigerific is my passion and my fear. Paigerific is my success and my failures. Paigerific is my blood, sweat, and tears. Paigerific is more than just simply word. It’s a million different words all rolled into one. Words like hope, grace, determination, imperfection, love, faith, insecurity… The one word I would use to describe myself? I am Paigerific.

 


Paigerific
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