Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Man I feel like a woman

When a woman says do whatever you want, do not do whatever you want. 

I think its pretty universal. That men see women as complex alien beings that they will never even be able to begin to comprehend. 

When a woman says, "I'm fine!" she is most certainly not fine. 

Women rarely say what they mean. 

Women hardly say what they want. 

Men, can I let you in on a secret... we are just as confused about it all as you are!

We are hormonal and indecisive and needy and independent and stubborn and giddy and broken and creative and beautiful and angry and compassionate all rolled up into one human being.

And it is completely possible for us to feel all of these emotions at the exact same time. While I have heard that it is possible for men to be thinking of absolutely nothing.. How can you think of nothing?

Women are unique creatures as a species as well as individuals. 

But in the famous words of Mel Gibson, What do women want? (And you don't even need to shave your legs to find out!)

*Someone to listen
Look guys, we know, you are the knight in shining armor and you are genetically programmed to save the princess from the dragon. And trust me, there will come a time in every girls life when she will desire someone to rescue her... flat tires for example. But mostly, we don't need you to fix it, or tell us that we are being irrational for feeling the way we do. We don't need you to pick sides. We don't need to you to tell us aren't allowed to run that person over with a car. We know that! But sometimes we need to be angry, or sad or happy. We need cry and laugh and feel free to do so without being judged. I think all women need someone who will listen.

Women need passion in their lives. I am not talking about the romantic kind. Women need to be passionate about something. To feel as if our lives have meaning. A reason to wake up every morning. Lots of things can be a woman's passion: family, ministry, work, volunteering, friends.. anything really. A life without passion is no life at all. Because here is the deal, as a woman, every once in a while, there is gonna be a day when we feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders. And when that day comes, we might just want to go hide under the covers until we feel better. Moments like this is when our passions will keep us from retreating and give us reason to keep fighting. 
"The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy"-Yves Saint-Laurent

Does this really need explaining? Everyone needs hope. Without hope, we perish. 

*To be pursued
I don't care how unromantic a woman is, everyone woman desires to be pursued in her own way. Personally, expensive jewelry is not my thing. But plan a picnic or take me on a coffee date and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. I feel most loved and pursued when I spend quality time with the ones I love. Women don't only need to be pursued by their significant others, but by their friends. Ever have one of those friends that expected you to do all the calling and all the planning? It gets old really fast. Women need to pursue each other in their friendships. 

*To be herself
When a woman is comfortable in her own skin, there is no limit to what she can accomplish. Sadly we live in a world that tries to tell women they need to look, act, be a certain way. When we refuse to be the women that God created us to be, we are mocking the masterpiece that he created. You aren't perfect. But you are fearfully and wonderfully made. So BeYOUtiful!

To love and be loved in return is one of the most powerful things in the world. Love really can change the world.

This is by no means and extensive list. Women need to laugh and be appreciated and feel beautiful. I would love it if you would add to my list. Tell me what you as a women want/need. 

Being a woman is confusing and wonderful. Be proud of who you are! God created a woman to accomplish things that men cannot. That is powerful. Don't be ashamed of your femininity, own it. Be graceful and powerful. Be proud and courageous. Be daring, Be bold, Be a woman! 

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.- Nora Ephron

Thursday, September 12, 2013

If I die young...

Dedicated to the memories all of those who passed far too young. 

No weeping
No hurt or pain
No suffering
You hold me now, You hold me now

Death, is tragic. But the death of someone young? It seems completely unbearable. 

We try to make sense and reason, but it seems that we will never know in this life why people die so young. 

Death is hard concept for me to grasp in itself. How one minute someone is with you and the next they are just gone.

But what do we consider young. When is a death less tragic? 60.. 90?

If we think of this in terms of eternity, we all die young. Our short time here on earth is nothing compared to that of eternity. 

What we do with that zero time, makes a difference in eternity. The things I say, the people I affect, the change I instill, the hurt I cause... it all matters. 

Knowing that our time here matters, doesn't it make you want to do better, be better?

If I die young, I want my friends and family to know how much I love and care about them. I don't want to wait until tragedy happens to start holding them closer. I want to hold them close at all times.

I don't want to spend my time complaining about how fast the time goes rather than enjoying the time I have.

If I die young, I want to see lives changed. I want to make a difference. I want to change the world.

I want to be known for my compassion for people and my passion for Jesus. 

If I die young, I don't want to waste another minute.

But the truth is, we all die young. Everyone of our lives will end too short it will seem. Too short to give enough, love enough, experience enough, share enough, dream enough...

So don't let another moment pass you by. 

Be not afraid of death, be afraid of the un-lived life. 

“Time," the Captain said, "is not what you think." He sat down next to Eddie. "Dying? Not the end of everything. We think it is. But what happens on earth is only the beginning.” 

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

For those who won't remember

"A great people has been moved to defend a great nation. Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve. America was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining. Today, our nation saw evil -- the very worst of human nature -- and we responded with the best of America. With the daring of our rescue workers, with the caring for strangers and neighbors who came to give blood and help in any way they could." George W. Bush

I was a week away from turning 14 years old. School hadn't been in session very long, when a teacher from another classroom came in hysterical. Her husband was supposed to be flying that morning, and the news broke about the first plane hitting the World Trade Center. 

I thought they were saying "train center". I had no idea what they were talking about. At 14 I assumed it was a flight malfunction, or maybe the pilot had a stroke or something. Then the 2nd plane hit.

True evil is not something I had become accustomed to in my short existence. But there, on the TV screen I was witnessing evil in its purest form. 

We watched in disbelief. Teachers were crying, but this horrendous act was so difficult for me to wrap my mind around. I didn't cry. I wasn't afraid. I simply could not comprehend what was happening. 

We will never forget.

But will we? Have we?

It amazes me that there are current high school students who don't remember that day, that middle school students weren't even born. This day that shook our nation is simply a history lesson, like pearl harbor. 

Young people who easily confuse Osama Bin Laden with Sadam Hussein. Young people who can never grasp the despair that was felt that day. The day the world truly stood still. 

But how do we remember, but continue to move forward?

We remember by honoring the men and women who continue to serve in our military, law enforcement, fire departments, EMS services, hospitals, and so much more. 

We remember by setting aside this day to pay tribute to the lives lost. 

We remember be retelling the story for generations to come. The story of a great nation that was not defeated by the acts of terrorism.

We remember by continuing the sense of patriotism and community that was prevalent in the weeks following the attacks. 

We remember by praying for our political leaders to make wise decisions.

We remember by always remembering how blessed we are, and remember that those blessings can be taken in a moment.

It's not longer current events. It's history. History that many of us were a part of. 

Never forget, because when we forget, we become complacent. We get comfortable. 

“Time is passing. Yet, for the United States of America, there will be no forgetting September the 11th. We will remember every rescuer who died in honor. We will remember every family that lives in grief. We will remember the fire and ash, the last phone calls, the funerals of the children.” -President George W. Bush

God Bless America

Thursday, September 5, 2013

No regrets?

My struggle as of late, has been a tangle of regret. I know. We aren't supposed to regret things. We are supposed to look at everything as an experience that has brought us closer to the people we are trying to be. No regrets. Look graciously at your past, and be thankful for the mistakes and the hurt. After all, that's what got you here. God bless the broken road right?

Am I the only one that feels like calling bull crap? 

Don't get me wrong, there are many mistakes and a lot of hurt I would make/take all over again. For example, my daughter was not born into the most perfect of circumstances. But I would gladly do it all again to have her in my life. 

I have a lot of regret, and there are very few exceptions to that.

And to be completely honest with you, it bothers me when people live their lives shouting "No regrets". Have you never wronged, hurt, betrayed anyone? Can you really say with full confidence that you are completely content with those past decisions? 

I am not saying you can't make peace with the past, but to say that you don't regret causing someone else pain just seems extremely careless and slightly egotistical in my opinion. 

So yes, I have regrets. Big regrets.

But a lot of what I regret are the chances I didn't take.

In college, I was so afraid of the things Christians warn you about, that I never took any risks, I never made any friends. I went to class and I went home, end of story. Now that everyone is starting back to school, I sometimes wish I had the opportunity to do my freshman year over again. 

My point is, don't let anyone make you feel like less of a person because you have a past of regrets. I have often felt almost un-Christian because of the way I feel about my past. 

When I think of no regrets, I think about my future. While I can't go back and change the things about my past that I regret, I can learn to live my life forward. I can choose to make everyday something noteworthy. I will always have past regrets, but I can learn from those mistakes. I can take those things that I am not so proud of and try to make myself a better tomorrow. 

If I knew then what I know now...

I would have tried harder, I would have been more outspoken, I would have said no, I would have made a bigger deal out of some things, and smaller deal out of others. I would have apologized sooner. I would have taken more risks, made more friends, made more memories. 

But I can't. I can't go back. I can't erase the hurt. 

But I have hope for my future. Isn't that all we really need? Hope... 

So here is to taking more risks and being proud of the years to come!

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The Monster

I tend to try to see things from alternate points of view. I never want to be viewed as narrow minded. While, we may not have the same belief system, I will at least attempt to understand your thoughts.

So please be understanding as I write what I am about to say.

My heart feels sad as I learned of the death of Ariel Castro. Is that shocking? Suicide never sits well with me, regardless of the situation. 

I am sad for the women and the families that will never get to experience the justice of seeing their captor serve his sentence.

I am sad for the family of Castro, because regardless of what kind of monster he is or was, he was someone's son, brother, friend...

And I am sad for Castro. I am sad that the mental state he was in, lead him to abduct and torture innocent women. I am sad that he learned all to quickly the horrors of being held captive. I am sad that he felt that death was better than serving the sentence that he thoroughly deserved. 

But mostly, I am sad for the people rejoicing in his death. This doesn't mean that I excuse or agree with the actions that lead him to his prison cell. 

I believe that God is fair and just, I however find it hard to imagine God rejoicing over death. 

I honestly could barely even watch the new footage as it replayed the nightmare that these women lived. 

I am not a supporter of Castro.

But I am a supporter of mankind. 

I am a supporter of the idea of grace and forgiveness and love and mercy. 

What Suzy says of Sally says more of Suzy than Sally.

Maybe he did deserve death for his actions. But don't we all?

The wages of sin is death... isn't that how it goes? Don't we all deserve to die?

And what about forgiveness? If all sins are the same, did Jesus not die for Castro as much as he died for me?

I don't have all the answers. I don't even know where to being to make sense of such horrendous circumstances. 

But I believe the day that I start celebrating death, is the day I should stop looking for monsters under the bed, and begin to look for the monster inside myself. 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013


It's been over a week since the VMA fiasco. I was not watching live, but due to the uproar on social media I of course had to check it out for myself. 

I've wanted to write my 2 cents, but was struggling with what I wanted to say, or rather what my 2 cents actually was. 

First, I would like to address how very few people have much to say if anything to say about Robin Thicke. No, he wasn't twerking or making inappropriate gestures with foam finger, but if you believe that Robin Thicke was blindsided by that performance I think you are seriously deluded. 

Have you seen his video? Not the rated version. Don't. Its just naked girls. No artistry or story. Just naked girls. 

To be honest, I have had a problem with this song for a while. The idea of blurring the lines between right and wrong. Just the language in the song honestly makes me uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, its catchy as all get out. But the fact that there is a Kid's Bop version of this song just doesn't make any sense to me at all. 

And Miley, oh Miley! At first I was angry, but then I just got sad. I'm sad that this artist who has potential to be so much and influence so much feels the need to become a sex object just to make a buck. I mean honestly isn't this why artists do what they do? They drop the F bomb twenty times, because you buy it. The girls dance naked because you watch it. And the ex-Disney star over-sexualizes her performance because you will talk about it. 

Beyond the performance and the song, I think that Blurred Lines is almost the Theme Song of a generation. I mean where are the lines anymore? Or have we blurred them so much that we have created an area where right and wrong are so closely intertwined that no one knows the difference?

It's more than a song, it's a way of life.

A way of life that far too many Christians and non-Christians alike are committed to following. 

The music doesn't affect me, so I will listen to it. The language in the movie doesn't bother me, so I will watch it. The indecently dressed women in this magazine aren't naked, so I will look at it. 

We have become people who live our lives with the motto "It's not that bad". Is that what Christ has called us to? A life that is not that bad? 

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8

I could quote scriptures for days. 

I'm not challenging you to change your TV viewing only to TBN. I'm not asking you to only listen to Christian music.

What I am asking is that we evaluate our lives, and attempt to live more consistently with the scriptures. I am asking is that we set a standard and define the lines. That we refuse to let culture tell us that right and wrong are up the individual.

Sin is sin. Wrong is wrong. 

I can't dictate Miley or her performances, but I can un-follow her on twitter as a sign of my disapproval of her actions. I can't stop Blurred Lines from playing on the radio, but I can make the decision to change the station when a song that makes me feel uncomfortable to listen to is played.

Does that make me right or holy?

No, but it doesn't mean that I am trying. That I am trying to raise my daughter in world that has a million voices telling her who to be. I am trying to let he know that the only voice she needs to listen to is that of God's. That she can be strong and independent and beautiful. She can have standards. She doesn't have to live a life of blurred lines. 

And you don't have to either.

The people who go along with the crowd never make history.

It's the ones who refuse to get caught up in the shuffle. The ones who stand up and stand out. 

So the decision is up to you. You can continue to go with the flow, to live an existence of blurred lines.

Or, you can be set apart. 

Define the lines.

Because you were created for so much more. 

What is Paigerific? I’m glad you asked, although I don’t have an exact definition to offer. Paigerific is my thoughts and my heart. Paigerific is my passion and my fear. Paigerific is my success and my failures. Paigerific is my blood, sweat, and tears. Paigerific is more than just simply word. It’s a million different words all rolled into one. Words like hope, grace, determination, imperfection, love, faith, insecurity… The one word I would use to describe myself? I am Paigerific.


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