Monday, October 21, 2013


I wanna make you feel wanted- Hunter Hayes

Can I just tell you how much I love being a mom? Like I really think I have the best and most intelligent and most beautiful almost 19 month old in the entire world. And I love being her mom. I love her laugh and the way she screams "I LOVE YOU". I love the way she smells after bath time. I love holding her in my arms. I love her mean face and her kisses. I love her crazy personality. 

Know what else I love? How much my little girl teaches me about the depth and height of God's love for us. 

Friday evening it was just Olivia and I home at bed time, and we have a pretty good routine. Olivia and I fall asleep in the bed watching Barney, and Jacob moves her to the crib when he gets home. Seriously, thank God for Netflix, cause we watch Barney every single night.

But Friday night, I sat her in my bed, turned on Barney, and decided that there were a few things I needed to do, so I left her in the bed while I went to do some cleaning up. 

It wasn't 5 min, and this happened....

It didn't matter that Barney was on (and she loves Barney). She wanted to be close to me. She would rather lay on the concrete floor near me, than in the comfy bed watching Barney. 

Of course I thought this was the most precious thing I had ever seen and immediately dropped what I was doing to go cuddle and watch Barney with my little girl. 

She wanted me to be close to her. She didn't want me to be out of sight. She wanted to feel me next to her. She wanted me. 

I truly believe that being wanted is one of the most powerful things in the world... because I believe our Savior also desires to be wanted. 

Why else would he have created free will? It would have been easy for him to force us to be with him, but that isn't real. He gave us the choice, because he wants us to make the decision to want him, even though he knew many would reject him. 

God desires to be close to you, and he wants you to desire his presence in return. 

Do you desire to be close to God no matter how uncomfortable that may be? Or have you decided to be comfortable where you are instead?

The God of the universe gave his only son, so that he could die a horrific death, so you could live in heaven eternally. He did this because he wants you. 

He wants your quirky and crazy parts. You don't have to be perfect. He created you... he knows you make mistakes. But regardless of the imperfections. He wants you. 

God wants you. 

I guess the question you need to ask yourself is, do you want him as well?

Not in the superficial raise my hands at church, try to be good, say a prayer once in a while kind of way. But in deep, do whatever it takes, heart wrenching, uncomfortable kind of way. 

In a walk 1,000 miles, hold a boom box over your head, take a bullet kind of way.

Because in this kind of love, its all or nothing. 

"We love him because he first loved us" 1 John 4:19

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What is Paigerific? I’m glad you asked, although I don’t have an exact definition to offer. Paigerific is my thoughts and my heart. Paigerific is my passion and my fear. Paigerific is my success and my failures. Paigerific is my blood, sweat, and tears. Paigerific is more than just simply word. It’s a million different words all rolled into one. Words like hope, grace, determination, imperfection, love, faith, insecurity… The one word I would use to describe myself? I am Paigerific.


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