Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Confessions of a first time mom

Let's be honest. I am far beyond a perfect mother.

My curly headed cutie leaves the house 9 times out of 10 without me fixing her hair. 

There may have been more than one occasion when she had ice cream for dinner or pizza for breakfast. 

When I was pregnant, I couldn't read enough of what the experts had to say about pregnancy and raising children. Now? Well lets just say I've taken a more learn as you go approach, as I have found much less time to read. 

When my kid throws tantrums (which is hardly ever) I can't help but laugh. I know I shouldn't, but its just so stinking hilarious to watch her completely lose it because I made her throw away the McDonalds cup from last night. 

One second I am adamant about her sleeping in her bed, and the next thing you know she has been in my bed for 3 weeks straight. 

Her clothes don't always match. Actually, if she is just going to the babysitter all day, I can almost guarantee they don't match. 

I really can't bring myself to spend a ton of money on toys/clothes/anything that won't last her more than a year. She is a baby and she grows so fast, and I can't see spending $100 on an outfit she is just going to ruin when she eats her ice cream for dinner. Seriously, I would say 95% of all of her clothes are gifts or hand-me-downs... I've spent hardly anything on her wardrobe brand new from a store (unless it was on the clearance rack).

We watch Barney every night before we go to sleep. Literally. I know... babies shouldn't be watching TV... you shouldn't watch TV before bed... It works for us and we will probably keep doing it until it doesn't. 

I don't post a picture of my kid every single day, I typically don't rush her to the doc over every little cough or sniffle, I let her drink some of my coke from time to time, I use her to throw things away (she LOVES to throw things away)... I mean I know none of this is terrible, but its definitely not getting me mom of the year award.

But for all the things I don't do and all the things I am not... I can guarantee that little girl gets at least 50 kisses a day from me. I tell her I lover her constantly. My favorite part of the day is cuddling and watching Barney... no lie. Its my goal in life that she will grow up knowing that she is beautiful and intelligent and unique. That little girl will never have to wonder if she is loved or accepted. 

But maybe being the perfect mom isn't about being perfect. Maybe its our imperfections that make us the moms that we are. I mean, I'm thinking someday, that ice cream for dinner thing is gonna make me an awesome mom in her eyes. I honestly don't care what moms around the world think about my parenting... The only opinion of my mom career that matters is that of my children. And I can guarantee I am going to do my rootin-tootinist to be super mom in their eyes. Nearly 20 months in and I definitely don't have it figured out, but I look forward to learning more about how to be a mom from the most amazing little girl on planet earth. 

I love you Olivia Quinn Starks... You make my life complete. 

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