Monday, November 11, 2013

Is modest really hottest?

I grew up in church. Like its always been a part of who I am. Through high school, church was my extra-curricular activity. I sang in the worship band, I helped with the youth, I performed in drama... it defined me. 

Seeing as I grew up in church, there were a lot of lessons I learned over and over and over...

But one that was recently brought back to my mind was the topic of modesty. 

Christian girls are pretty much pumped full of modesty juice from birth. 

If you wear that, he will be interested in your body not your mind. Leave something to the imagination. If you dress trashy, you will attract pigs. And my favorite, you need to protect the minds of your fellow brothers in Christ by dressing modestly...

We get taught from a young age that real men respect modesty, and if we want a real man, we therefore must dress to attract him.

Church camps with knee length shorts, swimming parties that required one piece bathing suits, dresses that had to be measured, hallelujah checks for shirt length  ... lots of rules lots of different situations. 

But can I tell you, I feel like this is a standard that isn't set for the men?

We are warned that the way we as females dress can tempt a male. But why is it my responsibility to protect him? Why isn't it his responsibility to respect and cherish modesty like we are taught men will when we were younger.

I bring this up, because I was part of a conversation recently with men who were talking about a female and her barely there clothing. The conversation was extremely derogatory, and somewhat insulting to me, seeing as I had to listen to it. The funny thing is, it wasn't a celebrity, this was a girl we all knew, and these fine young gentlemen were drooling for lack of a better term. To make matters worse, these individuals were Christians, many of whom grew up in church just like I did. 

Why didn't they learn to respect modesty? Why didn't they develop into men who find women who dress indecently as unattractive or at the very least feel sorry for her need to show her body for attention? Isn't that what we as women are promised? That if we do our part, the Christian men will step up and do theirs?

Do men really respect modesty, or is this a lie we are fed as children? Or perhaps in those Sunday school lessons, the teacher dropped the ball by focusing on how we as women dress, rather than expecting the men to be leaders. 

I'm not saying I don't agree with modesty. I'm saying that modesty should not be solely the job of women. I think that if we want our girls to grow up living modest and pure lives, we need to instill that respect in our boys. Women cannot be the forefront of modesty. Because let's face it, when a girl who spends her whole life striving to be modest, ends up in a conversation with christian boys who are oogling women with zero modesty... she might begin to question everything she has been taught. 

It is time to step up and be men. To refuse to be a part of conversations that degrade women. To encourage the women in your life by showing your respect for modesty. Because lets be real... everyone grows older. A body is only young for a short amount of time. I hope that you spend more time looking for someone who challenges you and encourages you in Christ and less time worrying about what she looks like in a bikini. 

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." -Proverbs 31:30

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