Monday, November 25, 2013

Who I was

(me in 2007)

Everyone changes. It's the circle of life. We grow older, get more mature, hopefully we become more wise. 

But not all changes that happen over the course of life are positive. 

Sometimes we become less active and more stressed. 

We allow failure to make us fear. We let brokenness harden our hearts. When things don't turn out the way we planned, we become bitter. 

Situations that are beyond our control sometimes turn us into the people we never intended to be. 

Sometimes, I wish I was who I used to be... because I've let circumstances change me. 

I used to be so much more encouraging and resilient and independent and hopeful. 

Lately, I can't get past what is going on right here, right now, at this moment. 

The dreams in my heart have taken a backseat to the things that I can't change. 

I'm not writing this because I have it all figured out. 9 times out of 10 I write because I am struggling. Because I've come to some sort of realization, and I think maybe, just maybe, someone else out there needs to hear what I have to say. 

So why do I spend my time so focused on what I can't change, instead of focusing on what I can?

Honestly, I have no clue... but I am pretty tired of it. 

So, instead of wishing I were to hopeful, encouraging, resilient, independent individual I used to be... I decided I am going to be that person.  

I am going to have dreams and work towards them. 

I refuse to let minor setbacks derail me completely. 

I am going to get things done... 

And I am going to encourage the sock off the people I come in contact with day to day.

Why? Because these are the thing that make me happy, that make me who I am. Not the problems that I am facing, not the struggles, not the disappointments.

I can't completely be who I was, because like I said, we all change. But decide today that those changes are going to be for the better. Decide that the changes that occur in life will be ones that bring you more joy and fulfillment. 

It's time to be the person you were meant to be...

"She knew this transition was not about becoming someone better, but about finally allowing herself to become who she's always been"

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What is Paigerific? I’m glad you asked, although I don’t have an exact definition to offer. Paigerific is my thoughts and my heart. Paigerific is my passion and my fear. Paigerific is my success and my failures. Paigerific is my blood, sweat, and tears. Paigerific is more than just simply word. It’s a million different words all rolled into one. Words like hope, grace, determination, imperfection, love, faith, insecurity… The one word I would use to describe myself? I am Paigerific.


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