Friday, February 28, 2014

But I don't wanna...

Let me completely honest... I do not have any desire to be writing a blog this morning.

I'm tired, my kid is sick and the last thing I wanted to do was pick up my mini dell and try to find words to be inspiring. 

I'm a bit of a Debbie Downer this morning.

Nothing in particular is wrong, but I have this terrible tendency to just shut down sometimes. When life isn't going my way, I retreat rather than fight. It's a very bad habit.

There are lot's of things I don't wanna do... 

I don't want to write today... 

I don't want to exercise, even though I've got a 5K coming up in less than a month.

I don't want to clean my house.

Lots of mornings I don't want to go to work.

And sometimes I don't want to smile...

But I've learned, and I'm still learning, that I have to push past the "I don't wanna" some days... because in reality, I'm never going to regret having a clean house, or getting up and going to the gym, or the possibility that I may somehow find the words that someone else needed to hear this morning. 

So know today, that I just don't wanna, but today I'm still gonna... Because the decisions I make today, affect the person I will be tomorrow... I want tomorrow me to be proud of today me. 

So its time to suck it butter cup... get out of bed, and get something done!

2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of self-discipline. 

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Cheater Cheater

I assume most of us have heard about the high school teacher from Kentucky that was not only cheating on his girlfriend with several women, but also sending some suspicious texts to a high school student. You haven't? 


So now that we are all up to speed. Crazy right? My friend sent me a link to this story last night, and I'm not gonna lie, I got a bit of a laugh. That was a pretty epic break up. How freeing and liberating it must be to call someone out on their crap, and for them to actually reap negative repercussions for their selfish decisions. 

But notice at the end, she takes down her post... why? My guess is because as freeing as it may seem on the outside looking in, that this Facebook takedown probably caused more problems than she bargained for. That bad guy or not, you can't just erase years of feelings, not matter what the jerk did. 

I see it so much on Social Media, people subtweeting and flat calling each other out. It's disturbing, but even more disturbing when I see Christian's participating in these facebook rants.

I'm not saying you shouldn't call someone out on their crap, but is Twitter really the best place to do it? Is it really going to get you the result you desired? Who else is it affecting besides just you? I see parents talking about their godless children, and children talking about their immature parents, and girlfriends and boyfriends arguing on a timeline rather than face to face...

We've become a culture that deals with conflict on a screen. It doesn't take a lot of courage to type a Facebook post about your feelings, it takes a lot more to go to someone face to face about how they've hurt you.

And if your goal is to hurt the other person, congratulations, that will definitely be accomplished when you air your dirty laundry. But don't think the person you are trying to hurt will be the only one affected, what about their friends and family... what about you? Don't you see how you are hurting your credibility by using a social media outlet that was initially intended for college students as your means of handling conflict?

The biblical way to handle conflict is to first go to that person in private. If things are unresolved, take someone with you the next time, and if things are still unresolved, you are supposed to bring the matter before church leaders to get their insight on the situation. No where does it say to gain support from your Facebook friends first by posting a status. 

Spilling your guts is just as lovely as it sounds... it isn't. Conflict is much more easily resolved in private rather than with the whole world staring you down. 

I'm sure this girl wasn't expecting national media coverage, but that's what she got. You can take down that post, but it's already out there... and there are always consequences for our decisions.

I applaud the girlfriend for getting out, and yes the breakup was pretty epic... but my guess is it didn't help to heal her broken heart. I'm sure she felt better for a while, but at some point she will still grieve the loss of that relationship, even a relationship with a cheater.

Moral of the story? I stick with the girlfriend's, "Never underestimate a girl with bigger balls". But if we take anything else away from this story, I would need to quote Andy Mineo, "Why don't you face your problems, don't facebook em?"

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Alone

"Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and your not speaking..."

So I'm honestly not the kind of person who needs a lot of alone time.

Or any really.

If I could spend my life constantly in the presence of the people I love, that would be just fine with me.

This possibly might stem from the fact that I don't like the way my brain goes into overdrive when I have been given too much time to think.

But on this journey of life I think we are faced with different paths and different struggles. Sometimes we travel with a companion, and sometimes we have to travel alone.

Trips are much more enjoyable when you get to travel with someone else. But I think we all have a point in our lives where we have to make the journey our own.

Not to punish us, but maybe to strengthen us. Maybe we have to walk alone for a while to figure out who we really are. Maybe we need to see what we are made of. Maybe our priorities are out of whack and we need this time to get things straightened out.

Whatever journey you are on at the moment, whether it be your own journey, or walking with a companion, I hope you are letting the journey grow you. I hope you are refusing to stay where you are, that you are moving forward and learning and becoming more and more of who God wants you to be.

And at the end of the day, even when I feel alone... I know that I am never alone.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.


Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Love Story

Logan: I thought our story was epic, you know? You and me.
Veronica: Epic how?
Logan: Spanning years, and continents. Lives ruined and blood shed. Epic. But summer's almost here, and we won't see each other at all. And then you'll leave town, and then... it's over.
Veronica: Logan...
Logan: I'm sorry about last summer. You know, if I could do it over...
Veronica: Come on. Ruined lives? Bloodshed? You really think a relationship should be that hard?
Logan: No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.


It seems that we are groomed to believe in impossible love.

Star-crossed lovers. People from opposite worlds, times, and even love between different species...

Romeo and Juliet.Catherine and Heathcliff. Lancelot and Guinevere. Tristian and Isolde. Mark Antony and Cleopatra. Edward and Bella...

We hope, against all odds and all adversity that love will be enough.

Love isn't like the movies or stories.

Its not always as simple as forgive and forget.

Because you see, the star-crossed rarely find their way in the end.

Love isn't just about the lovey dovey and the butterflies.

Love is risky, love can be scary, and sometimes love is hard.

It seems we have such a distorted view of what love is.

Because you see, love isn't selfish.

Love wouldn't participate in petty arguments.

Love wouldn't lie to spare someones feelings.

Love wouldn't jump to conclusions and get jealous constantly.

Love would never make you feel meaningless.

But it seems like most relationships are centered around these things. Making yourself happy, getting what you want, and putting yourself first.

THAT ISN'T LOVE!

Real love puts the other person first.

Real love is patient and kind and doesn't get jealous.

Real love would do everything in its power to protect you.

Love is sticking it out through the tough times...

Love could be realizing that you are both better off apart.

Love is letting someone go.

And for those of us that have been hurt? It's hard sometimes to believe that love is out there...

But love in itself is never enough. Because love in itself is so easily confused with emotion and feeling. Love is nothing without commitment and perseverance.

God is writing my love story, and it may not be an epic romance that there are songs and sonnets written about. But it's my story, and I don't need to know the ending. I just want to enjoy the days it takes to get me there.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Forget it

I can't even begin to tell you how many times a week, I think to myself "Forget it".
(well, it might be a little more, shall I say, off-color when I say it in my head)

Seriously, some days I am so done. I am done being nice. I am done keeping it all together. I am doing being hopeful. I am done being gracious and classy. I am done being cooperative. I am done being patient. I am done... and I will further reside in my bed and hide until it all goes away.

Some days, that's exactly how I feel. You think its easy for me? You think I always want it to be this way? Sometimes it seems easier for people who freak out and hate and act childish...

Sometimes I want to open up my blog and air all my dirty laundry, because well, that's normal, and somewhere in my mind I wonder if that would be easier... if it would be easier to stop protecting people who don't care a thing about protecting me. If it would be easier to just be selfish for a while.

But then I get a message from someone, who tells me they read my blogs... who tells me that I inspire them and encourage them... they tell me that I am making a difference.

I think about my daughter, and how one day she is going to ask about how all this went down, and I am going to want to be someone she can be proud of, I want to be an example of Christ's love and peace even in difficult situations.

I say all this to say, you are the reason I don't give up. When you comment on my blog, when you send me private messages, when you let me know that this isn't in vain... you make me want to try harder. I don't feel like giving up when you tell me that you are praying for me... when you share your stories and you empathize with me.

You, see none of this is about truth... because I know that God is with me... I know what the scriptures say about being patient about how to treat others. I know...

This is all about feeling and emotion and well probably being a hormonal female! But it's never about how we feel... it's always always always about how we react to how we feel. I can feel like giving up 100 times a day, but what matters is the fact that I don't.

It's all going to work out in the end. But if I give up... I may never get there.

Galatians 6:9 And let us not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we do not give up.

Friday, February 21, 2014

I'm fine...

I'm fine... really... most days.

I have a great job, amazing kid, outstanding family, kick butt friends... it makes this all a whole heck of a lot easier. 

But sometimes, I'm not fine... and the moment I'm not fine is the moment I start the believe that I will be alone forever. 

I know I know, that chances are that isn't true, but I am sure at one point or another you believed that as well.

Because my life is complicated, and I really do think that will scare pretty much all guys off (pretty for sure it already has, LOL).

And I am a pretty strong individual, and I'm gonna need someone even stronger to compliment me and support me.

And the fact is, I know about a handful of single guys, and well... none of them are exactly knocking down my door! (PS, my friend Hanna says you don't know what your missing out on).

But I seriously get really discouraged when I think about the future. When I think about having to take the trash out my entire life... I really hate taking the trash out. And even more so when I think about the things in life I want to accomplish.

In my mind, my goals and aspirations would be much easier and more efficiently accomplished with someone by my side. But have I limited by God by believing that I can only achieve my dreams if I have a man?

Don't get me wrong, I want someone in my life who will love Liv and I and take care of us... someone that is just as passionate about ministry and Jesus as I am... but if I get so focused on finding that person, thinking I need that person to accomplish God's plan, I might miss out one what God has has for me in the meantime.

Maybe I will be alone forever, it's definitely a possibility. But instead of living in that despair, I want to start living in Gods promises. If and when someone else comes along, I want to be so lost in God and fulfilling my purpose. 

My dreams aren't dependent on someone else coming into my life... And it's time for me to stop waiting for them to come along, and start fulfilling my dreams. 

Eph. 2:10 For we are Gods masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

True Story

Can I tell you how much I hate lies?

I mean, I know and I get that everyone lies...

But it seems we are conditioned to lie rather than be honest about how we are feeling or what we think.

Being honest has been equated with being rude and insensitive? But isn't it possible to be honest and tactful? Do we have to choose between the two.

Maybe not... because I can't tell you I don't like your new haircut without making you cry...

I can't tell someone how I feel without causing an awkward situation.

I can't say I miss you without sounding desperate.

I can't say that I'm hurt without being accused of being stuck in the past.

I can't say I struggle, because I'm supposed to be over it.

The thing about honesty, is that there are consequences. There are consequences that come with opening up about your mistakes or even your feelings.

We ruin things with honesty sometimes.

But I think there comes a point where you have to weigh the consequence. You have to decide that the risk is worth it... that regardless of the potential outcome honesty is necessary.

So why can't we just be painfully honest and save each other the trouble?

Because some people can't handle the truth.

Sometimes you need to say something more than someone else needs to hear it.

But I think there comes a point where the outcome doesn't even matter... that whether the end works out in your favor or not, makes no difference.

Because sometimes, we need to tell people how we feel. We need to tell them that we've been hurt or we need to tell them that we really care about them. Maybe we won't get an apology and maybe your feelings won't be reciprocated...

But maybe, just maybe they will...

Sometimes, it's worth the risk.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Irresistible



Last spring was an extremely difficult period in my life. My marriage was falling apart, and I thought I was being a good wife by hiding that fact. I thought I was protecting my husband and my family by keeping our struggles to ourselves. And to an extent I believe I was, but at this point we weren't even seeking outside help, just dealing with it on our own. Maybe if we were able to be more open with key people in our lives about our struggles things would have worked out differently...
But this blog isn't about the what if's...

In the spring, we attended a conference in Lexington, it was a pretty cool conference, but let's face it, we all wanted to go mainly because Steven Furtick was speaking. 

But interestingly enough, while of course Pastor Furtick's message was amazing... that's not what this blog is about either.

The message that the Pastor of Quest church, Pete Hise, delivered kind of wrecked my world at that moment. 

At this point I was seriously searching for something... anything to motivate the relationship between my husband and I... 

There was a couple who got up and spoke about his infidelity and their separation and their ultimate reconciliation... I was crying and hopeful, and my husband seemed unmoved by this display. 

I was at my wit's end... I had already made up my mind I was not leaving my husband. That regardless of what we had been through or would go through, that I didn't believe I could have lived with myself if I were to quit. 

But I was so shattered... when the one person in the world who is supposed to want you, doesn't... let's just say it felt as if my heart was physically broken. 

I tried to lose weight, to change my hair, get a tan... I thought if maybe I read my bible more or tried to be more encouraging... if I didn't nag or ask too much. But none of this changed anything. 

In the final message of the conference, when we walked into the Sanctuary we were given small pieces of concrete blocks. He had us write on these blocks, and honestly, I can't even remember what we wrote. I can't remember if was something we struggled with or lies we believed... I remember I wrote a couple of things, but I cannot remember what I wrote... 

But at the end of the message, the Pastor encouraged us to trade our rocks for something else. So as we all made our way up front I had already decided to just grab the first rock I saw, cause I wasn't really into this. It had been a long day, and I was tired, and well I was hoping for a miracle, and it didn't seem I was getting one. 

The first rock that popped out at me said "Irresistible", and all of a sudden I start crying like a baby. I hadn't felt wanted in so long, but to read the words irresistible? Me?

I totally believe in God moments, and that was an amazing one. Because while my husband had decided he no longer wanted me, God reminded me that I was irresistible. That he would move mountains to be with me, that he died to give me life. 

And now I know that someday, I won't have to beg another man for attention or try to force someone to want me. That someone out there is going to see all the qualities that God sees in me, and that man is going to find me irresistible. I won't have to compete with other women... or other things. 

Maybe you've been struggling in your marriage, or relationship, or maybe in your singlehood. Know that God finds you irresistible. That you are fearfully and wonderfully made. He wants you, and nothing can change his mind. 

Romans 8:38-39 38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.



Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Standards



Wanna know my new favorite thing to do when I'm bored? Look up mugshots. Seriously, I know its probably terrible, but I feel like only those who have something to hide will find my new past time offensive. 

But back to the point...

While looking through mugshots I decided to check up on a guy who practically begged me to date him in high school.

Don't get me wrong, the guy was nice and not terrible to look at, but I just knew that him and I were not a match. Why? Well, I really was basically a good girl in high school. At this point in my life I had never drank of alcohol or been to a party or lost my virginity or really done anything "bad" besides be late for curfew (Such a rebel I was). 

This job was pretty much my first job, and it was difficult for me, being the good girl I was. Well because for the first time in my life I was constantly surrounded by people who weren't even trying to be good. I went to Christian School, and most of my activities were church related. At this job I constantly heard things that I had no clue about, I was confronted with innuendos and questions about alcohol and marijuana... All things I knew nothing about. 

So this guy, basically told me how stuck up I was for not giving him a chance. This guy, who was a self-proclaimed pot-head and bragged about drinking all weekend with his buddies. How dare 17 year old me turn down such a catch?

But yesterday, while looking up mugshots, I decided to check him out. This fine young individual has been arrested 30+ times! 

I seriously had to laugh... I sure missed out didn't I?

I say all this to say, don't ever let anyone make you feel inferior for having standards. Don't let anyone pressure you into going against your gut. 

Don't settle, just because someone else thinks you should.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Girl Power

The following could potentially change the world... if we would let it...

I started reading this book, and after discovering it was intended more for the male audience, I let my friend borrow it. However, to my dismay he didn't highlight the good parts...

He started telling me about a part of this book, where the author was discussing intentions of the male mind. And how pretty much, at the base of everything, what guys want is sex.

That the reason behind what they do what they do... pretty much all relates back to sex.

They go to college, they get good jobs... they bathe... all because at some point in their lives, they feel these things will get them what they want (In case you haven't caught on to what guys want... this blog maybe be too mature for you).

However, on the opposing side, if they discover that they can get what they want without working for it... then chances are they probably won't.

I am not going to attempt to delve into that which is the complex infrastructure known as the male mind... I do not claim to understand men or their motives...

But if all this is true, if men will work hard, adapt their behaviors, do their best to become upstanding members of society in order to get what they want... then girls... we have the power to change the world...

Not excusing men and their lack of motivation... you can take responsibility for your own actions.

But if women would stop sleeping around and allowing men to treat them like objects and start demanding that they work hard, that they be good friends, good neighbors, good fathers, good boyfriends, or good husbands...

Wars would cease... famine, poverty, abuse, murder... would end...

Maybe i'm being a little dramatic... but the concept remains the same...

Women have so much power, but we are so easy to give it all away. Why? Insecurity, doubt, fear...

God created you as something unique and something to be desired.

And yes, there are always going to be girls out there trading their power for a simple "you're pretty".

But maybe if more of us would exercise our God given power as women... maybe the world really would change...

Just some food for thought.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Enough: Guest Post by Adam Drake

I once heard it said that the best way to realize your own dreams, is to be in support of the dreams of others. I dream of being a REAL writer of traveling and speaking... but today isn't about me or my dreams. Today I get the opportunity to support the dreams of someone else. My good friend Adam Drake recently published his first book! While I am totally jealous, I am so excited for him and this journey he is taking. I asked if he would do me the honor of writing a guest post for my blog. I hope you enjoy...

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I have this deep desire to be meaningful, to change the world. The strange thing is that this is the source of my greatest frustration. Thoughts that I am not doing enough plague my mind. I don't have a job teaching or saving lives. I don't travel to third world countries helping orphans. I'm just a guy.

Part of this frustration stems from a culture that has become obsessed by what we can see. We judge success by the number of likes or the roar of a crowd. When we make this the standard, most of us will never know what "success" feels like. And if your anything like me, that leaves you feeling insignificant. There is no greater insult to our feelings than silence.

But our eyes lie to us. And facts only tell us part of the story. What we see and what we know are not the whole truth. Let me show you.

What is the tallest mountain in the world? Everybody knows it's Mount Everest. But everyone is wrong. The tallest mountain from base to peak is Mauna Kea. Don't believe me? Look it up. It's over 4,000 feet taller than Everest from base to peak. Why don't we know this? Why is Everest the famous one? Because 2/3 of Mauna Kea is underwater. We have this habit of ignoring what we can't see. The problem with that, in terms of living a life of significance, is that most of the meaningful moments in a person's life don't happen in front of a crowd. They happen in the quiet of a hospital room. They come when a mother kneels by a bed with only a princess nightlight shining over her. The world may never see these moments, but those soft touches of love are often the greatest mountains in the lives of those who have felt them, helping them rise higher than they ever could have by themselves.

That used to be enough for us, but somewhere along the way we decided that we need proof before we will believe. We sacrificed truth on the alter of validation. So we challenge the premise that these tiny acts of love can change the world. My mind and my emotions take this stance far too often, so I have to remind myself that we are all apples.

In 1686 Isaac Newton observed an apple falling from a tree. He believed that the Earth acted like a giant magnet pulling the apple down to it and called this gravity. Today scientists know that he was only half right. Everything in the universe that has mass carries an electromagnetic field which draws things to it. The illusion of an apple "falling" is a matter of perspective. Because the Earth's mass is so much greater than that of an apple, the pull it has is trillions of times stronger. From where we stand it looks like the Earth simply pulls the apple down to it, but on an atomic level as soon as the apple is free from the tree it actually begins to pull the Earth up to it as well. That is science. That is fact. An apple can move the whole world. So I tell myself that if an apple can do it, why not love?


I will not find the cure for cancer. Someone far smarter than me will have to do that. I may never hear the roar of the crowd. But I have a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn't satisfy the longing in my heart anyway. My greatest achievement might not ever get a "like", but I can make a difference. A hug or kind word may be someone's Mauna Kea. Its greatness may be hidden and ignored, but that doesn't change the truth. I have love to give. And that is enough to move the world.
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You can keep up with Adam by signing up for his blog updates at http://byadamdrake.com/
You can also follow him on twitter @AdamDDrake
But I definitely encourage you to support this extremely awesome individual by purchasing his book. It's only $.99 and I am sure it's the best $.99 you will spend all year. Below are the links where you can purchase this book.


And thanks to the famous Adam Drake for sharing!!


Thursday, February 13, 2014

Under the Weather

I feel like crap this morning...

Seriously, it so frustrating. Last year, working in daycare, I swear I coughed all winter long. And this year I have been doing my best to avoid sickness.

I've been taking vitamins, washing my hand thoroughly, lysoling everything, avoiding the sick...

And after all my precautions I still get sick!

Isn't that life though? 

We work and prepare and make plans and take precautions and try to prevent things and they happen anyway? 

We work hard and try to budget but we still fall into debt.

We try so hard in our marriages, and sometimes they still fall apart. 

Sometimes it doesn't matter how well you plan, life happens. 

You see, I believe it becomes a problem when our lives get so wrapped up in planning..

"Lukewarm people do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they don't have to. They don't have to trust God if something unexpected happens-they have their savings account. They don't need God to help them-they have retirement in place. They don't genuinely seek out what life God would have them live-they have life figured and mapped out. They don't depend on God on a daily basis-their refrigerators are full, and for the most part, they are in good health. The truth is, THEIR LIVES WOULDN'T LOOK MUCH DIFFERENT IF THEY SUDDENLY STOPPED BELIEVING IN GOD." -Francis Chan 

I know I know... fail to plan, plan to fail.

But this goes so much deeper than planning, when we go so consumed with planning that we no longer NEED to trust God. 

Proverns 19:21 "We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God's purpose prevails."

I've questioned lately if maybe the reason so many of MY plans have come crashing down, is the possibility that it's time for God's purpose to prevail...

Not that I believe that God has caused any of the negative things in my life, because I am sure that was all me. 

Maybe just maybe, this deconstruction and reconstruction of my life is God's way of bringing me to something better... because even with all my precautions, my plans have failed.

So here is to trusting God with whatever comes next... in sickness and in health!

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

They don't make 'em like they used to...



"Oh, my, word..."

On the way to work yesterday, I heard the devastating news that the great  Shirley Temple had passed. 

I have such fond memories of watching Shirley Temple movies with my mom and sisters growing up. My younger sister would cry to watch more "Shirley Pimple". Why, my mother and I just went to a historic theater last weekend to watch a showing of "The Little Princess".

As I watched the film in the beautiful theater, I kept thinking to myself, that they don't make movies like they used to...

And that thought led to another thought... 

They don't make child stars like they used to either. 

Shirley temple didn't have to dress indecently to gain attention.

She didn't have to twerk to warrant applause. 

Shirley Temple is known for her talent and beauty and philanthropy. 

Stars now have to be different and cutting edge and shocking...

When did things change? 

Maybe its some unrealistic notion I have for simpler times... 

But there will never be another Shirley Temple. 

So thank you Shirley, for sharing your talents and grace with the world. You were truly one of a kind, and you left your mark on many whose childhoods consisted of your films. Thanks for the memories. 

In loving memory of Shirley Temple Black
April 23, 1928-February 10, 2014


Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Pinky Promise

Sometimes, I just really don't understand God and what He is up to. 

I can't be the only one who feels this way. 

I mean, doesn't God say he has plans to prosper me? To give me a hope and a future?

Then why does it seem some of these promises and desires in my heart are slow coming?

I was thinking about Abraham, and how when God told him and Sarah that they would have a baby, they laughed... because they were old, and it seemed ridiculous that someone at such an old age would have children (Abraham was 100 btw).

But they did have a son, and named him Isaac. But to me, even crazier than having a son at such an old age, at one point God actually asks Abraham to kill his son, as sort of test to see if he really trusted God. Of course we know how that story ends, God spares Isaac's life, and Abraham passed the test. 

As I read these stories in the Bible, it helps me to see that God's ways are not not necessarily my own. That He is up to something, even if I can't see or it doesn't make sense.

Habakkik 2:2-3 And then God answered: “Write this.
    Write what you see.
Write it out in big block letters
    so that it can be read on the run.
This vision-message is a witness
    pointing to what’s coming.
It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait!
    And it doesn’t lie.
If it seems slow in coming, wait.
    It’s on its way. It will come right on time.

Has God made you a promise that hasn't come to pass? Write it down, somewhere you can see it. Remind yourself, that God has promised and God does not lie.

Do you have a dream that you want to accomplish? Then everything you do from this point forward should be in pursuit of that dream. 

God's ways are not our own. When you feel discouraged, remember that Abraham had a son at 100 years old! His dream came to pass, in God's perfect timing. 

God's word is true... and God always follows through, pinky promise ;)

Friday, February 7, 2014

No excuses

Something that I have seriously struggled with lately, is making excuses. 

I don't have time, because I'm a single mom. 

I deserve it, because I'm going through a hard time. 

And I'm sure there are may more I could list. But I'm just tired of it. I'm tired of not living up to my potential simply because I have an excuse. 

I typically regret the excuses I make, the moments I miss out on, the things I think I deserve. 

Today I don't have some super inspirational answer... Besides simply stop. 

Stop hiding behind excuses and allow yourself to experience life. 

Excuses may protect you for a while, but eventually you have to learn to put your big girl panties on and deal with life head on. 

So here is to not hiding behind excuses anymore... Life is waiting. 

Thursday, February 6, 2014

PSA

I have a few things regarding my blog from Tuesday titled "America the Beautiful?"

First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone who read and liked and commented and shared. It has become my second most viewed blog of all time, and I am truly honored that anyone, let alone so many, would take the time to read the thoughts in my head.

And I want to say thank you to everyone who disagreed but came to me with their opinions and participated in a respectful debate. I've long learned that we are not going to agree on everything, but life would be so boring if we did! I appreciated the comments and different views. Debate and differences are healthy, and I am grateful to know so many people who can present their opinions and not take offense that we aren't all zombies without differences.

But my main reason in writing this is because, while no one was disrespectful or rude to me personally, there were some who were disrespectful to my readers who shared or commented about my post. This upset me greatly, as I had no idea others would be catching flack for my writing. I honestly expected more personal backlash, but it has come to my attention that my readers took the fall.

First of all, if you experienced negativity for sharing my post, I truly am sorry. Everyone else was stating their opinion, and I wanted to state mine. I am very opinionated. And I take pride in that. I don't believe everything I am told, and I have learned to research and come to my own conclusions on matters of life and spirituality. I would much sooner be known for being opinionated than for not having an original thought in my head.Thanks for agreeing, and thanks for sharing! Sorry you had to take the fall.

But if you were one who felt the need to lash out at my readers, know you make my heart sad. It was never my intention to cause you to feel angry or offended to the point of being rude to someone else. But you need to know that for most part, my blogs aren't very controversial, that I simply state what I'm dealing with or what crazy thing God is teaching me. But sometimes, I feel very passionate about a subject, and I feel the need to express myself. These will be my opinions... I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but I do expect those who comment to be respectful to myself and my other readers. If you feel as if this is something you cannot do, then I ask that you refrain from reading my blog.

Rudeness is a weak person's imitation of strength... it takes a much stronger person to disagree and walk away friends.

Philippians 2:3-4
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 
Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

We can disagree and still lift each other up as believers and individuals. If my blog causes you to feel strife and anger and division, then I do hope you choose not to read anymore.

I write so that people can know they aren't alone, so that we can share our struggles and triumphs. And yes, occasionally so I can share my opinions. 

There are much greater things stand against than each other. 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Stay Classy


Can I tell you one of the biggest compliments I have received lately? Is that through this difficult time I have been honest, yet graceful.

And let me be the first to tell you, that grace is not my first reaction.

My first reaction is to be angry and cry and lash out and punch you in the face and tell you exactly where you can stick that apology...

Wait, where was I? Oh yeah grace...

People seem shocked that I don't run down people in my life that have hurt me, that I still feel the need to protect them and our privacy, even though most don't feel I have any reason to.

Because it isn't normal.

Normal is Facebook posts about beating up some chick because she is messing around with your baby daddy. Normal is subtweets about those that have hurt you. Normal is telling anyone and everyone who will listen exactly how they hurt you...

I don't want that normal.

I have been far from perfect, and most days it seems it would be much easier to wear my heart on my sleeve, have a good Facebook rant, and maybe punch someone in the face...

But what will that accomplish? In the grand scheme of things, what good will that do?

When all is said and done I want to be proud of how I have conducted myself in even the most difficult situations.

I desire to be and inspiration and and example even when I am walking through the valley.

Matthew 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven.

We all go through storms, that part is inevitable. But I really do believe how you conduct yourself matters. That when people see you persevering and being strong and staying classy, and you are able to point to God as the foundation of your strength... I think that is going to make a difference in someone else.

So be honest and graceful and above all, stay classy!

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

America the Beautiful?




I am quite aware that the following will be a unpopular opinion, but that's the beauty of my blog. I can write what I want, and if you decide you don't like what I have to say you can just stop reading.

Dear Coca-Cola, 
I really wasn't paying attention too much at the super bowl, seeing as I spent my time chasing around a quite active almost two year old little girl. Like literally, couldn't tell you anything memorable that happened on the big screen... ok, wait I remember the weird pistachio commercial, but that's it. 
So I start seeing all these Facebook and Twitter posts about Coca-Cola's America the Beautiful ad and how disgraceful it was, and how that song should only be sung in English... So I decided to check it out. 
Are you kidding me? Of all the evil in the world, people felt the need to take to social media to debate a commercial? (one that I found quite beautiful by the way) They were so irate and appalled that you would play such an offensive thing on television. 
I don't believe that these people even understand what America is. They have probably never heard of the melting pot, or the more politically correct term, the tossed salad. 
I understand that people from other countries will be required to somewhat assimilate to our way of doing things. But is it impossible for those people to continue to have pride and history and tradition and still be american? Not according to some in my news feed. 
Ethnocentrism is the belief in superiority of one's own ethnic group. 
And in my opinion, anyone who was internally or externally upset by that commercial has some ethnocentric issues that they need to deal with.
After all, isn't that what World War II was all about?
America was anything but beautiful last night. America was hateful and rude and ignorant and conceited. 
And I don't believe that you at Coca-Cola were trying to make some political statement, but simply show ways that we are all connected... like being American citizens, regardless of what country we were born in, or simply how many of us enjoy Coke. 
Shame on anyone for reading so much into a commercial that they felt the need to be upset by it. Get upset about murder and world hunger and war for crying out loud! 
And yes, I believe that people who come to America should learn English... but does that mean they need to forget who they are and where they come from?
So kudos Coca-cola, for realizing that we are all created by God. And that America can be a beautiful place, when we stop being overcome with prejudice, and begin to learn that we are all connected. 
I think I will go buy a Coke!
Respectfully, 
Paige Starks



Monday, February 3, 2014

Losers




So I am not particularly into football... ok I am not into football at all. The only reason I watch the super bowl is because there is a party and I get to eat. 

But what about that Game... I saw on Twitter someone asked if the Broncos were aware the Super Bowl was last night, because obviously they didn't show up. 

I don't know about you or where you were last night, but it seemed as if I was in a sea of upset Broncos fans. 

They just couldn't win for losing. 

Ever feel like that? Like you put your heart and effort into something, and you still just fall flat on your face? I feel like that countless times. 

I feel like I am gracious loser at sports, because well honestly I just don't care enough to get upset about losing a game. But what about when we lose at life? I am definitely a sore loser when it comes to that. 

But how do you continue when it seems as if losing is the new normal?

1 Corinthians 15:57 "But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

It's difficult to see beyond the small failures, and realize that in the grand scheme of things, Christ has already been victorious. He conquered death, Hell, and the grave. As long as we have received his salvation, we can be confident that in the end, we will be victorious. 

So try not stress the minor setbacks in life. Because you are not a loser. God has given you the victory. 


What is Paigerific? I’m glad you asked, although I don’t have an exact definition to offer. Paigerific is my thoughts and my heart. Paigerific is my passion and my fear. Paigerific is my success and my failures. Paigerific is my blood, sweat, and tears. Paigerific is more than just simply word. It’s a million different words all rolled into one. Words like hope, grace, determination, imperfection, love, faith, insecurity… The one word I would use to describe myself? I am Paigerific.

 


Paigerific
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