Saturday, May 31, 2014

So I had a Stroke

Ephesians 3:20 "Now to him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us"

I had a seizure. A few pretty bad ones in fact. It's called a grand mal seizure, Google it. Its pretty intense. I had 4 of them.
During this process I dislocated both of my shoulders, it was quite painful.

Did I mention I also had a stroke?

That Sunday afternoon I was trying to take a nap, and I was unable to make my Wii remote work. I was getting very frustrated, because I was unable to make the remote function. Unbeknownst to me, I was already having some issues with my brain process. So luckily, I had the common sense to go upstairs to get some assistance from my sister. However, I forget to put pants on before I went to ask for any assistance (sorry Trey).

I remember walking upstairs and smiling at my sister, Mallory. I vaguely remember being in the ambulance, however, I do remember throwing up while I as on it. I remember the nice lady at the hospital. I remembered someone cutting my shirt off.  I asked my mom who did it,  turns out it was my little sister and best friend, who happen to be nurses. I will be forwarding you both my bill for a new shirt ;)

(I had surgery on Tuesday, May 20th. The doctors removed a 6-8 inch blood clot from my brain. The doctor said it was as big around as his pinky finger)

I asked my older sister if she took the time to take a picture of my seizing. She said she was a little preoccupied with keeping me from falling down, chocking, and well vomiting. She did however manage to send me this lovely picture rendition of my seizing episode.

It's all pretty much a blur. I don't remember the trip on the Life Flight helicopter, but here is the picture...

I wasn't supposed to remember being intubated, but I do remember, and it was miserable. I just kept pointing to my mom trying to get her to get the thing out of my throat.

Lots of people came to visit, lots of people I couldn't remember. It was frustrating. I'm still pretty frustrated. Because while this probably all looks great to you, my mom has to proof read everything I write because I'm still having some issues with remembering how to read.

My mom and little sister are pretty much in charge of making sure I take my medicines, because well it's too much for me to keep up with. I have to take a shot in my stomach twice a day, and to be honest it sucks.

I can't drive. I can't work. I go to speech therapy and doctors appointments.

A few weeks ago I was a pretty independent individual. I could pretty much take care of myself. Now my 26 year old self has to be taken care of by my parents.

Here is the thing. Not to be dramatic or whatever, but there are people in my situation who die. Strokes are the third leading cause of death in the United States. More than 140,000 people die each year from a stroke in the US alone.

I could have died. That stroke could have been it for me. But my story isn't over. There is so much more for me to do and dream and accomplish. My life isn't over. My dreams are not over.

Your story isn't over either. If you have a pulse you have a purpose. Just because you've lost your vision along the way, doesn't mean that you have nothing left to accomplish. God has a plan for you. Don't give up simply because you've made some mistakes along the way. You may not have another chance to accomplish your dreams. Start today.

I'm going to change the world, just you wait and see.


Thursday, May 8, 2014

Unanswered Prayers

"Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers" -Garth Brooks

I have been toying with the idea of writing this, but I've been really unsure how to discuss this situation. I don't want anyone to assume that I make a habit of restricting God by putting him into some clearly defined box.

My question today: does God hear the prayers of the unsaved?

Before you start saying that I am limiting what God can and cannot do, please just let me explain. I never asked if he could, I said does he?

I read a statement the other day that basically said something to the effect of "I in no way shape or form live my life for Jesus, but I know he will answer my prayers".

I am having a difficult time trying to understand this concept.

Why would someone I have no relationship with care to answer my requests?

I feel as if it is extremely bold and presumptuous to assume, that simply because God is all knowing and all powerful that your prayers will be heard and answered.

Hebrews 10:19-21 So, friends, we can now—without hesitation—walk right up to God, into “the Holy Place.” Jesus has cleared the way by the blood of his sacrifice, acting as our priest before God. The “curtain” into God’s presence is his body.

So what does that mean? If Jesus cleared the way to God by the blood of his sacrifice, do we not have to first accept his sacrifice to have access to the power of God?

It seems awfully, dare I say, hypocritical to believe that God will answer you, while living a life that isn't pleasing to him.

Sin separates us from God. Jesus, gave us access to God through his sacrifice. 

I may not live for Jesus, but I believe in him. That should count for something.

James 219 You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder

Does God hear you if you aren't living your life wholly and acceptable unto Him? Possibly. I am not really trying to start a debate, but rather inspire change. 

Whoever calls on Gods name shall be saved. Period, end of story.

I guess I want opinions. Not to argue or say I am right or wrong.

Does God hear the prayers of the unsaved? Maybe, that's really not my place to say I don't suppose. 

I guess my whole point in this blog is to challenge people to more. To be better and do better and actually live for God, accept the sacrifice that grants you access to Him and stop using God like a sugar daddy.

What is Paigerific? I’m glad you asked, although I don’t have an exact definition to offer. Paigerific is my thoughts and my heart. Paigerific is my passion and my fear. Paigerific is my success and my failures. Paigerific is my blood, sweat, and tears. Paigerific is more than just simply word. It’s a million different words all rolled into one. Words like hope, grace, determination, imperfection, love, faith, insecurity… The one word I would use to describe myself? I am Paigerific.


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