Monday, July 28, 2014

Don't let it slip away

So I had a bit of down time this weekend and decided to watch the movie "God's not Dead". 

Great movie, but this blog isn't about that.

The movie actually reminded me of something I had completely forgotten about...

I met Michael Tait in a Kroger on New Yer's eve.

Apparently, my friend Hanna has family that is friends with him, so she just walks up to him and starts talking to him like its nothing.

I grew up listening to DC talk. I could honestly still probably quote most of the lyrics to you (I saw a man with tat on his big fat belly it wriggled around like marmalade jelly...).

He introduces himself as Michael and we shook hands. And you know what I did next?

Absolutely nothing.

This whole time Hanna is talking to him I am having this inner conversation going something like "OMG it's the guy from DC Talk. Surely that's not him. I mean we are at Kroger. You don't just run into Michael Tait at Kroger. He looks just like him. He's just a very similar looking African american gentleman. Maybe I should ask, oh no that would be rude... his name is Michael, its totally him... I should say something.. Paige say something..."

We walked away and I asked Hanna if that was him. It was. Of course she wasn't aware of my fangirling during our brief chat. 

I had the opportunity to get a picture... to make a memory. And I missed it. I let that moment just slip away.

I kicked myself the rest of the night.

I could probably write a whole book about opportunities that I have missed. Things I've missed out on because of fear or insecurity or doubt... 

It seems so stupid to me now, why I couldn't just say "Oh my gosh, I know you" but in the moment I held myself back. I didn't take the opportunity when it presented itself and I completely missed it. 

Am I the only one who has let far too many of the moments just pass them by?

I kind of hate to keep pulling the stroke card, but it just seems so relevant to my life, I guess since it was kind of a big deal. 

We only have a limited amount of time to make memories on this earth. My stoke could have been the last of my memories, but thankfully God decided to give me time to make a few more. 

Today my challenge is not to hold yourself back from those moments. Not to look back and regret not making a memory, even if you end up making a fool of yourself. 

Whats the worst that could have happened? It wasn't Michael Tait and I looked a little dumb mistaking him for someone else? So what? WHO CARES!?!? 

Life is far too short for me to care so much about looking dumb in front of other people or to be so concerned with what other people think of me.  

I can't be who I am called to be or do what I am called to do by being scared and living my life on the side lines. I have to make some noise. I have to get in there and play the game... even if I strike out... even if I look really silly. That's not the point. The point is just to do it, to put myself out there, to try, to fail, to make some memories, and to make a difference. Because we only get so much time here on earth... and I intend to make the rest of mine count. 

So, Michael Tait (because I totally know you are reading my blog right now), if I happen to run into you in a Kroger again, I promise you that I will be getting a picture.

And I might ask you to sing something for me... 

Ephesians 5:16 "Make the most of ever opportunity..." 

Monday, July 14, 2014

He loved me anyway

I've seen a lot of social media posts lately about murders and baby's getting left in hot cars and well... you know what I'm talking about, you've seen it too right? Everyone giving their two cents about exactly what should be done to people who could do such heinous things. They should be beaten to death, or die slowly, or hung up in the town square so we can all get a chance to take a jab at em. I can't be the only one who has noticed this.

And I can't begin to judge anyone for their reactions towards such crimes. Maybe they know the person who has been murdered... maybe all these children left in hot cars just bring it too close to home for some moms.

I've never had a close friend or family member that has died in such a tragic way... but as I was starting to read posts from different people a scripture came to my mind...

I Corinthians 13:6 Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth.

As a Christian, I am called to love... which is not always an easy to task. I am called to love not only those who love me, but I am also called to love my enemies. To pray for those who persecute me and hate me. To forgive those who who speak falsely against me.

I want to first say that I believe that those who committee these terrible crimes against others should most certainly be punished.

But I think sometimes we are so busy to hand down our own sentences, that we don't take any time at all to thing about those that have committed these crimes to begin with. Many of these people are mentally ill. Many have experienced horrific pasts that have led them to this point. I believe many of them struggle with demonic influence in their lives. While these in no way excuse them, instead of seeing individuals as human beings, we automatically label them as monsters... as less than human.

For God so loved the world...

He didn't just love the avid church goers or those that are perfect or even those who just don't kill people...

He sent his Son to die for the whole world... the liars and the cheaters and yes, the murderers...

My whole point in writing this, was mostly for me. Because sometimes I don't know what I think until I read what I write. I needed to wrap my head around what kind of perspective I should have as a Christian regarding these issues.

My analysis? Is that I am a sinner saved by grace. While here on earth we can label and define sin and right and wrong, but in heaven I am no better than a murderer. It was my sins that nailed Jesus to that cross. It was because of me that he had to be brutally tortured and bleed and die so I could receive forgiveness. And you know what? He loves me anyway. He doesn't hold it against me. He didn't make me pay for my wrongs... he simply forgave me.

So when I have been forgiven so much, how can I then hold so much blame towards someone else? Once again, yes, punishment after committing a crime is deserved. But when Jesus loved me anyway, how can I hate and hold un-forgiveness in my heart?

If you have personally been affected by a tragedy, I hope and pray that you can find peace.I can't even begin to imagine. But realize the only person that anger and bitterness will destroy is yourself.

My anger doesn't hurt those that have caused me past offenses. My anger and bitterness only hurts me. 

Forgiveness isn't easy. Its not supposed to be. If it was, everyone would do it. But we all have a choice. We can choose to live our lives with the anger and bitterness that has been dealt to us. Or, we can choose to live with the freedom of forgiveness. 

Colossians 3:13 Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

What is Paigerific? I’m glad you asked, although I don’t have an exact definition to offer. Paigerific is my thoughts and my heart. Paigerific is my passion and my fear. Paigerific is my success and my failures. Paigerific is my blood, sweat, and tears. Paigerific is more than just simply word. It’s a million different words all rolled into one. Words like hope, grace, determination, imperfection, love, faith, insecurity… The one word I would use to describe myself? I am Paigerific.


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