Monday, March 16, 2015

To my next husband...

It seems that open letters are the big thing these days... so why not join in right?

An open letter to my next husband:

Chances are since I am posting this on the internet for the world to see, you might actually get to read this before you have gained the privilege to be part of my family. Because not to sound conceited, but my daughter and I are quite a catch (I think even my ex would agree).

Here are some important things you need to know about joining in on this mother daughter duo.

She is my world. Before you came along, it was just her and I for quite some time. I haven't made a single decision since March 23rd 2012 that didn't require me to consider my beautiful little girl, you included. We had a pretty good thing going before you, and honestly its going to be a struggle for me to include someone else again. But I want to... I desperately want to. Just be patient.

You aren't her dad. She has a dad, and even though him and I parted ways, he loves that little girl. She doesn't need another dad. But she could definitely use another role model, confident, advice giver and friend. I know that I would never even consider marrying a man who didn't love and treat my daughter like his own. So thank you for accepting us as we are. Her father will always be part of our lives. We get along quite well, so I expect you two to get along as well. But I assume you wouldn't have made it this far with me if you were part of creating drama in our family.

I don't believe that divorce is OK. Yes I am divorced, so that probably sounds really hypocritical coming from me. And I am not judging you if you find yourself in a similar situation. But I did not want to get divorced in my last marriage. It wasn't my decision. Please don't say I do unless you are in it for the long haul. I have struggled with feeling like a failure in circumstances that were completely beyond my control. Please don't put me in that position again. Please only promise me forever if that's what you intend to give me.

I am a passionate woman. I am passionate about my relationship with Christ, about being a mom, my family, my friends, and my church. I also intend to be very passionate about my marriage to you. I think in a good marriage I will be inspired to pursue my passions an thrive... not held back. I am not like a lot of other women. I can be intimidating to some men... but my intention isn't to intimidate... but to encourage you to thrive as well.

I am low maintenance. I really don't care a thing about expensive jewelry or fancy clothes (hello target!). As long as you remind me you love me, give me your time, and make me a priority... I think that's all I need. I am definitely not going to refuse gifts, but never think that is going to take the place of quality time.

I want us to share our lives together. I want you to love my family and friends like I do... and I want to love yours. I understand that we will both need our space to do our own thing every now and then, but I am honestly not an individual that needs a whole lot of that... I hope that you aren't either. So have your guys night and play cards or video games every once in a while.... just not every weekend, and always come home to me. 

Don't lie. I am pretty strong gal, and I can handle a lot, but lying is so difficult to recover from. You messed up big time? Did something that will hurt me or make me mad... tell me. Don't wait til I find out and for goodness sake don't lie! It will take time to get over whatever you did, but if you lie to me, I may always wonder in the back of my mind if you are telling the truth. Just be honest. I can handle it. 

I have baggage. I mean who doesn't? But I am working on it... even know. But I might still need you to help me unload... and I need you to be OK with that. 

I don't cry. Like right now I can't remember the last time I cried. I am just very logical about things sometimes... Except for when I am mad... I am good at crying when I am mad. This doesn't mean I am insensitive, I simply deal with things differently.

I need you to hold my hand. I need you to cuddle with me. I need you to help me with the dishes and take out the trash. I need to see you playing with my daughter. I need you to remind me you love me. I need you to be the spiritual leader of our home. I need you to do the manly things like care maintenance, because I don't have a clue.  I need you to want more kids. I need you to watch scary movies with me. I need you to help me experience life and go on adventures. I need you to not want to change me, but to encourage me to always be a better version of myself. I need you to mean what you say. I need you to never leave...

I don't expect you to be perfect... but I anxiously await the day you are here. 

Love always,

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What is Paigerific? I’m glad you asked, although I don’t have an exact definition to offer. Paigerific is my thoughts and my heart. Paigerific is my passion and my fear. Paigerific is my success and my failures. Paigerific is my blood, sweat, and tears. Paigerific is more than just simply word. It’s a million different words all rolled into one. Words like hope, grace, determination, imperfection, love, faith, insecurity… The one word I would use to describe myself? I am Paigerific.


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