Monday, May 11, 2015

Lie's we are told

I am single. That's the box I have to check when filling out paperwork... well that or divorced if that's an option (that still sounds weird saying I am divorced).

I'm not married... that's what the box wants to know. There isn't a box for kind of seeing someone or even seriously dating someone. So for all legal purposes, I am single (for all other purposes, if we are friends you know my relationship status, and if you don't know, well we probably aren't friends).

But I have spent A LOT of my 27 years as a single lady... Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it?

There are things a single person gets told... A LOT about being single. Even Christian's attempt to spout out words of encouragement that I don't necessarily believe are true.

Things like "There is someone for everyone." Really? I mean can you show me where the Bible tells us that there is someone for everyone or where God creates specific mates just for us? What about when Paul says its better to stay unmarried? What about a person who die's young, does there someone then have to do without someone? Or what about people who get married more than once... which someone was actually theirs? Or what about someone who marries the wrong one, does that mean their kids are the wrong ones as well? Although meant to be encouraging, this doesn't seem to be a biblical principle.

I don't believe in "the one", at least not in the conventional sense. I believe that God gave us free will... free will to choose a life with him or life a without him. We romanticize the notion of a soul mate, but what is romantic about basically being forced into something because it was "pre-destined"? I think the idea of a soul mate infringes on our rights of free will.

Rather than someone that was created specifically for us, I believe that a soul mate is created in someone you choose.

To singles, we spout out Jeremiah 29:11 for reassurance that one day prince charming will come along (or princess for all you single dudes). God does have a plan for all of us, but sometimes in the midst of your singleness, that fact doesn't always bring peace.

We live in a world of romantic comedies where that bad guy becomes the good guy and in the end they fall in love and live happily ever after. We would all say we know that it isn't real life, but somewhere, in hearts we hope and pray that it might be. Maybe Freddie Prince Jr really will ask me to the prom...

I personally get caught up in being "good enough". Not like, I'm to short, too fat, too dumb, etc... kind of stuff. But more of looking at my singleness like a punishment for not being as good of a Christian as I should be. Like somewhere in my mind I begin to think that the reason I am single is because I didn't read my bible yesterday or because I said a curse word when a car pulled out in front of me. I've made getting re-married into a sheet of checks and balances, of which I fall below quite often.

I know God has it under control, and I have really had to come to a place where I am OK with wherever this journey of life takes me. I was at a point where I wasn't moving forward in my life, just in case I was suddenly to become un-single.

I think other people, however unintentional made me feel that way. By trying to remind me of "God's plan for my life'", I felt like I had to wait instead of moving forward and making a life for myself and my daughter.

So let's be honest. I could be single forever. I may never get married again or have more kids... and I am learning to be ok with that. I am not looking for a guy or pursuing anyone. But now, I am following my dreams. I am accomplishing things in my life that I thought I needed to wait today... just in case.

I am completely confident in God's plan for my life... I am completely confident that He knows my desires and He will bring the right opportunities to me at the right time when I am diligent and prepared to pursue them. It all comes down to allowing God to take control, waiting for his purpose, but always moving forward.

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What is Paigerific? I’m glad you asked, although I don’t have an exact definition to offer. Paigerific is my thoughts and my heart. Paigerific is my passion and my fear. Paigerific is my success and my failures. Paigerific is my blood, sweat, and tears. Paigerific is more than just simply word. It’s a million different words all rolled into one. Words like hope, grace, determination, imperfection, love, faith, insecurity… The one word I would use to describe myself? I am Paigerific.


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